


Wings of hope

by Subaruchan192



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Apocalypse, Attack on Titan AU, Battle, Danger, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Don't Have to Know Canon, I don't know if it becomes a romance, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Male Friendship, Military Training, Pre-Relationship, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, Survival, Titans, respect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subaruchan192/pseuds/Subaruchan192
Summary: "More than 100 years ago, mankind was on the verge of being exterminated by its "natural enemy". The Titans. They looked like bizarrely deformed people with completely wrong proportions. Some had a head too big or extremities too long, some were thick, others only skin and bones. It almost seemed as if they were humans brought to life by the drawing of a child.These creatures had no intelligence, they acted only on the instinct to eat people."Dominick Carisi, called Sonny, is a young absolvent of the 104’th trainings corps- the first to be trained after the Wall incident and tonight they have to choose their destiny and path. After he has seen how the Titans ate his comrades, there is no turning back anymore. He knows that the Survey Corps is the only hope of humanity to survive and this is when he meets Commander Rafael Barba for the first time.~*~This an Law and Order/Attack on Titan AU I head in my head for a while as Rafael Barba and Erwin Smith have the same voice actor in the German Dub, so Rafael takes in the spot of Erwin, while Sonny is a new recruit joining the Survey Corps. So here you are to a crossover that likely no one needs. You don't need to know Attack on Titan to understand it.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. A night of decisions

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not an absolute expert on Attack on Titan as I've only seen the first two seasons, but I love it and did quite some research, but please don't be too strict with me.

More than 100 years ago, mankind was on the verge of being exterminated by its "natural enemy". The Titans. They looked like bizarrely deformed people with completely wrong proportions. Some had a head too big or extremities too long, some were thick, others only skin and bones. It almost seemed as if they were humans brought to life by the drawing of a child.

These creatures had no intelligence, they acted only on the instinct to eat people.

The survivors of that time built three walls, 50 metres high and made of solid stone: Maria, the outermost, Rose, the middle and Sina, the innermost.

Since Titans were believed to be no taller than 3-15 metres, the walls became their protective shield and, over time, some people began to worship the walls as gods. The birth of the Order of the Walls.

So, the people lived peacefully in their fortress, until five years ago a colossal Titan even taller than the Wall of Maria, destroyed one of the gates in the outermost district of Shiganshina and people were once again overrun by Titans hungry after 100 years of starvation. Many people died that day and many lost their families.

As a result, humanity was forced to abandon the outermost wall and lost one fifth of its population and one third of its territory.

This led to tensions when the poorest of the poor suddenly fled to the area between the walls Rose and Sina and the middle class of craftsmen and traders had to share their scarce resources. In addition to the Titans from outside, the threat was now also growing inside the walls. The situation was worse than ever before.

But at the same time, the incident also opened people's eyes. Now, five years later, the Survey Corps, which fearlessly explored the territory beyond the walls, not only united the people's hope, which was emblazoned as white and blue wings on their capes, but also received more resources.

Along with the Wall Garrison, which guarded the walls and maintained them, and the Military Police, which provided security within, the Survey Corps was one of the three paths that the recruits could follow after their training.

The Survey Corps had all the knowledge of mankind and the quick-wittedness of some had increased the survival rate in the squad dramatically, but still one in three died during an expedition behind the walls.

Dominick Carisi, called Sonny, was young absolvent of the 104’th trainings corps- the first to be trained after the Wall incident and tonight they had to choose their destiny and path.

It was dead quiet on the training ground on this evening and the absolvent of the training corps stood on muddy ground to choose tonight which one of the corps they wanted to join: Military Police, Wall Garrison or Survey Corps.

Most had made up their minds even before they joined as recruits. This evening was rather for the undecisive, though the shares were clear already. The Military Police only took the best ten out of each year, while most recruits would never sign up for the Survey Corps as it was almost equal to a death sentence. Therefore, most would join the Wall Garrison and Commander Pixis didn’t saw the necessity to speak to the recruits.

So, the only one who would speak tonight was the 13’th commander of the Survey Corps: Rafael Barba. As he stepped out, Sonny noticed that he wasn’t as tall as the stories described him, but not any less impressive. His steps were confident and fast, his hair was as dark as the night and neatly combed to the side, while his deep, green eyes looked thoughtfully as he turned towards the recruits.

The air was crisp, sharp and tensed as they waited and only the flimsy light of some torches illuminated the courtyard.

“Before we can go to this cellar in Shiganshina district, we must first address another problem,” he began his speech in a pragmatic tone. A woman of the Survey Corps with a short, brown bob stepped out of the shadows and hung up a map of the area within the walls. “It will be necessary to reconquer the Wall Maria. I know this is easier said than done.”

The commander turned to the map.

“Because now that we can no longer use the gate in the Trost district, we have no choice but to take the diversion through the Caranese district in the east.”

With a firm expression on his face he turned back to the recruits.

“Even the routes that we have created for major military operations over the past four years are now all useless. In these four years, more than 60% of the Survey Corps have died. 60% in four years.”

The young woman, who had just rolled up the map again, clung onto it for a moment and her hands trembled. The facial expression of the commander, however, remained calm and matter-of-fact.

“A frighteningly high number and this year's the new recruits will be sent to the expedition behind the walls in a month's time. The probability of dying is about 30%. In four years, most of you will probably be dead, but those who survive will have become excellent soldiers with a high survival rate.”

The silence that rested over the recruits like a shroud was stifling. No sound penetrated the night. Everyone listened with bated breath to this unusual speech.

Sonny allowed himself to look sideways for a moment and mainly saw horrified faces. They had all seen it, seen what the Titans were capable of. They knew that the commander was not lying. They knew what to expect and the images they had seen lay like shadows on their faces. Sonny was no different.

He had seen them, unlike most other people, and he had fought them. He had looked extinction in the eye and could no longer shut it out. In those moments when he had faced the Titans, he had understood that their only chance of survival was to gather more information, to increase their knowledge.

Because they actually knew nothing about them. They didn’t know why they suddenly appeared, why they ate people even though they did not need food. Since they acted on pure instinct, a pleasure in it was impossible.

Commander Rafael now raised his head and looked straight into at them with sharp green eyes.

“Now you know how bad our situation is, but if you still want to risk your life, please stay here.” His voice got a warm sound for a moment, but then was warning as he continued: “But think about it carefully. Ask yourselves: Are you capable of sacrificing your heart for the good of humanity?

A startled murmur went through the crowd and the otherwise disciplined recruits became restless.

“That is all,“ he ended his speech to Sonny’s surprise. “Those who wish to enlist for other divisions may now leave.”

Sonny stared at the commander in surprise. Rafael Barba was considered the greatest strategist of mankind under whose leadership the winds of hope were stronger than ever before. So, he must have chosen his words carefully, but Sonny did not understand what he wanted to achieve. He did not seem to be the only one wondering, as one of the captains of the Survey Corps stepped forward and asked quietly:

“Commander, maybe you scared them a little too much? Not one of them will stay.”

The commander remained unperturbed, not a spark flew across his face as what his subordinate had prophesied came true. Most of the recruits turned around without hesitation and left the court.

Sonny, however, had made his decision. He could not say exactly why, but something about the honest speech had moved him. It had shown with what clear, analytical mind the commander approached things. He did not cover anything up, he did not play games to recruit them, even though he desperately needed recruits. It was a form of respect. Rafael wanted the recruits to choose hope, fully aware of the dangers and prospects. And there was hope now, in the earlier mentioned cellar in the ruins of Eren Jäger's house.

Eren, who had completed his training together with Sonny, who could become a Titan and who had irrevocably closed the destroyed gate in the Trost district. Eren might be their trump card, but he also spread fear among many.

To his surprise, though, many of his comrades also stayed although they were shivering in fear. Jean even looked as if he actually wanted to leave, but his feet had built roots.

The courtyard suddenly appeared empty. The last attack and their fight had frightened many of the recruits and driven them to the supposedly safe Wall Garrison, but Jean, Connie, Reiner, Bertold, Sasha, Krista, Ymir and of course Mikasa and Armin, Eren's childhood friends, stayed, for there was no turning back for them. They had all seen how the Titans had eaten their friends and comrades.

Yet they were few. Probably too few, especially in view of the statistics the commander had mentioned, but he still looked at them with an untouched, calm gaze and Sonny wondered if anything would ever shake this man.

“Tell me,” the commander said in a clear voice. “If you are ordered to die, can you do it?”

“No! I don't want to die,” cried one of the recruits from the back row.

For a short moment, the commander closed his eyes and uttered a small sigh, but when he opened his eyes again the hardness of pragmatism had disappeared.

As he continued, the commander's voice was softer, almost like a summer wind:

“Of course. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.” He closed his eyes once more before he announced in a strong, powerful voice: “I am accepting all the remaining recruits here as new members of the Survey Corps. This is a sincere greeting, soldiers. Together we sacrifice our hearts.”

With a loud, muffled sound, he hit his right hand against his chest above his heart for the official salute of mankind, which the recruits mimicked without hesitation and shouted out loud:

"Yes!"

Tension and fear were in the air. The only one who seemed really fearless was Mikasa, the best of her year.

Sonny also looked around, still surprised at how many had really stayed, but relieved that he didn’t have to face all this uncertainty alone.

“You all stayed.” Armin, a small, slim boy with blond hair and a sharp mind, seemed equally surprised.

“The Survey Corps, such a shit,” Jean muttered, his face hidden in the shadows, while Petra trembled with fear.

Even the otherwise calm, unshakable Reiner and Berthold were tense. Commander Rafael, on the other hand, did not look at them with disappointment or even admonishment. Instead, there was a warm glint of pride in his eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to stay, Sonny,” Connie addressed him. He was rather small, but a strong, dexterous young man with dark eyes and very short hair. “You were in the top ten just like me. You could go to the Military Police.”

He wasn’t wrong. Sonny could go to the save division, but he couldn’t. Whenever he thought back to the two attacks of the Titans, his hands clenched tightly into a fist.

“I just can't be idle anymore,” Sonny said grimly, but with a determined look even though his legs trembled. He turned to his friends and felt that not only their attention was resting on him. “When we started our training, we were children. Naive and stupid, who joined the training corps to become heroes, but the situation is too threatening for there to be any. No one will come and save us if we just wait long enough. But it’s what most hope for. I can understand it, the urge to choose a safter division, but I think it is a selfish thought, because if nobody is willing to sacrifice everything, humanity is damned. The end will not be prevented if we keep withdraw further and further. One day there is no place to hide anymore. We have seen that the walls cannot protect us.”

Armin looked surprised at Sonny. They hadn’t been exactly close during their training as Eren, Mikasa and Eren were inseparable.

When Sonny turned back around, he believed to see a little smile disappearing from the commander’s face. Then he let his eyes wander over his new recruits and said softly:

“You bravely faced your fear. You are truly brave soldiers. I have the deepest respect for you.”

It was honest. There was no doubt about his words. In this moment, Commander Rafael felt respect for the new recruits and that was the moment that Sonny Carisi had been blown away by Commander Rafael Barba.


	2. A lost hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the morning after the Titans captured alive have been killed, nervousness and confusion resting in the air and Sonny tries to make sense out of it.

It was a cool, grey morning when Sonny and the other new recruits of the Survey Corps had gathered in the inner yard of one of their outposts and starred at two monsters in front of him with a tight knot of fear inside his stomach.

“Are you afraid,” a smooth, deep voice asked and Sonny turned around. Commander Rafael stood behind him. His dark hair melted with the remaining darkness of the night, while his deep green eyes seemed to glow.

Sonny’s heart made a jump and he could hardly supress a swallow. Why did the commander address him? Had he done something wrong? Had he looked terrified? Because he wasn’t and he didn’t want to leave that impression behind.

“No.” Dismissively, but a bit too strong to be believable, Sonny shook his head and immediately straightened his stance.

“It’s alright to be afraid,” the commander assured, a warm expression in his eyes, the same he had carried after his recruiting speech. It was the tender smile of a father, who cared so deeply for his child, full of warmth and reassurement. A smile, which made you feel safe and an extent of the hope of humanity, which he carried on his shoulders.

“It’s not the first time I see a Titan,” Sonny replied pressed, his face and eyes hard. “I was there at both incidents. I lost my family when the Colossus Titan destroyed the wall Maria.”

“Ah…” Commander Rafael breathed out and his eyes turned sad. “I’m sorry that your first encounter was like that. Not that any other would be better.”

A certain heaviness rested in his voice and his eyes became deep and weary, showing how much he had seen in the almost ten years he was leading the corps and how much he had to sacrifice for a spark of hope that humanity could survive.

It made Sonny feel small with his loss, but the gaze in the commander’s eyes showed that he understood his pain and that he hadn’t turned numb. He remembered and knew how it felt. He _understood_ his subordinates, because that was what they were, but he didn’t treat them like such.

“No.” Sonny wanted to keep up his military tone, but his voice shivered and his hand clenched into a tight fist, his knuckle turning white. He knew that the commander would see it and therefore quickly turned back towards the two Titans.

No, those weren’t terrifying and not dangerous anymore as they had been killed last night. It was a disaster. It had taken the Survey Corps great effort to capture them alive so that the leader of the research department of the corps, Hanji Zoe, had the possibility to investigate them, but someone had wanted to deny that.

Hanji was quite an extraordinary person; all of the Survey Corps were actually. She had shoulder-lenght, brown hair tied into a pony tail and carried glasses, but what stood out most was how she became overly excited whenever she was able to investigate something. It didn’t happen rarely that she squealed in joy and her subordinates had to hold her back.

The strangest thing was, though, that she built up an emotional bonding to her subjects and even named them. The two killed Titans had been named Sonny and Bean. It had not been on purpose as Hanji didn’t know him, but it made him quite uneasy.

Titan Sonny was a small Titan that stood 4 meters high and had short messy blond hair and light blue eyes. It had light peachy-coloured skin like the other normal Titans and often had a dazed expression. It almost felt as if he was staring at a plumb picture of how he would look like as a Titan.

Maybe that was the reason why Commander Rafael decided to talk to him, because he knew all of recruits.

Sonny felt compassion for Hanji who was honestly upset. She knelt on the muddy ground in front of Bean and Sonny and cried and she didn’t cry because a research object was lost, but she truly cried for them.

Titans were pure, Hanji had once said, as they only act on instinct. They weren’t evil or mean.

That sight made Sonny wanting to join her division even more, because he was a compassionate, empathetic person deep within his heart and she must be a good person if she could feel sadness for an enemy. For their predators.

“What do you think about this?” Commander Rafael suddenly asked into the tensed silence which hung over the yard and clasped Sonny’s shoulders. Sonny wasn’t quite sure what he tried to achieve with this as every action and word of the commander was carefully calculated and chosen. The only possible explanation he found was that he wanted to tear Sonny out of his thoughts.

The style of how the commander lead his corps was quite different to the one of commander Pixies, who had trained them. The commander of the Wall Garrison was hard as the stone the walls were built of, eccentric, merciless and unforgiving, while commander Rafael was gentle and kind. He respected and treasured every recruit who had decided to face the danger, ready to give their life for humanity and the commander tried everything for them to feel save, guarded and protected.

It made them loyal on a much deeper level than just by obligation and none of the soldiers wanted to let him down.

Therefore, Sonny took a deep breath to calm his heart and starred thoughtfully at the corpses of the Titans.

“There must be a spy among us,” Sonny finally concluded after some moments. He turned his head back to Rafael to find out what he was thinking, if he was right, but there was no answer in the green eyes.

“Why do you think that?” the commander asked calmly and Sonny pursed his lips as he tried to find words in which he could put his intuition.

“Ever since Eren turned into a Titan,” Sonny began as his gaze wandered towards Eren Jäger, who stood together with his childhood friends Mikasa Ackermann and Armin Alert.

As if Mikasa had sensed his assessing gaze on Eren, she looked up, a sharp, warning glance in her blue eyes. It was always typical for her. Ever since Eren’s family had taken her in after her parents had been killed, she was very protective of Eren, almost caring for nothing else.

“We can assume that at least the abnormal Titans could potentially be humans. So, it is quite likely we have spies among us. They were the only ones who had a motivation to kill Bean and Sonny so that they couldn’t be investigated.”

Sonny let out a deep breath as he ended, his lips pressed together.

“Maybe even from my year as it hadn’t happened before and we were the first trainings corps after the Colossus Titan destroyed Maria.”

It wasn’t a thought he liked having, it actually broke his heart to think that someone of his friends would want to doom humanity, but it was a possible, logical explanation and his kind heart shouldn’t get in the way of his assessment.

Sonny turned his head around to look at commander Rafael. His green eyes were deep and thoughtful, but a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth and Sonny thought it might be one of pride. Or maybe he just wished it to be.

Damn, what was wrong with him? Sure, he had always been impressed by the Survey Corps ever since he had been in the cheering crowd when the soldiers had ridden through the streets. For the people of the outer districts, the poor ones, they had been the heroes that kept him safe and Commander Rafael on his white stallion among the usually brown horses was a symbol of hope.

So, yes, he had admired them and commander Rafael was even more impressive than the stories being told about him, but Sonny was completely unreasonable here.

Luckily, though, he had not any time to think about it as commander Rafael nodded approvingly before he turned around, resting a comforting hand onto Hanji’s shoulder as he walked past her. He tilted his head down towards her and whispered something Sonny wasn’t able to understand.

Immediately, her tears stopped and a determined expression returned to her face as she stood up and wiped the mud from her trousers. For a moment, she simply looked at Sonny and Bean, maybe holding a silent minute, before she turned around and, to Sonny’s surprise, walked up to him.

“Sonny, right?” she asked as she reached him.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Sonny nodded in trained obedience.

“Now, now, no need to be so formal.” The captain of the fourth division of the Survey Corps waved off. “Call me Hanji.”

“O…okay,” Sonny agreed and couldn’t help, but to stammer as he was a little overwhelmed by the situation.

Hanji nodded contently and smiled at him, but it didn’t take long until it fell from her face and a thoughtful gaze covered her eyes like a cloud.

“I’m sorry if my naming made you uncomfortable.”

“What?” Sonny swirled around to her with his mouth open. Hanji didn’t look at him at first, instead she starred vehemently at the dead Titans, but then the military stance eased from her position and she turned her head.

“Rafael told me that you likely feel a little uncomfortable that I named a Titan like you.”, she said and Sonny widened his eyes. Oh God, Commander Rafael had noticed? What might he think of him; especially given that he had felt the need to send Hanji over to him?

With a fast beating heart, he searched for the commander and found him standing on the other side of the yard, sunken in a conversation with Levi and Mike.

Levi was a rather small, lean fighter with a pitch-black undercut and dark, determined eyes, always scanning the landscape about potential dangers with a hard, sturdy gaze.

A deep bond of trust connected the commander and the captain of the Special Operations Squad, the elite of the elite. Commander Rafael had faith that Levi would fulfil his orders, while Levi trusted Rafael’s judgements without any doubts. A few nights ago, Sonny had head how some older members of the Survey Corps had talked around the fire, speaking about how Rafael and Levi sometimes appeared as if they were one person.

Mike, on the other hand, was the strategical advisor and the other side of the coin. He was a tall man, even taller than Reiner, who was called colossus within the trainings corps. His hair was ash blond and short bangs grazed at the height of his eyebrows.

The sound of a stone being kicked by a boot tore Sonny out of his stupor.

“I’m sorry if that’s case,” Hanji continued when he still didn’t say a word. She had turned more towards him, a gentle expression on her face, but a little frown resting between her brows right above the strapped glasses. “It wasn’t my intention to upset you.”

“Oh, no, no. You couldn’t know,” Sonny hurried to assured, waving it off.

“Good.” Hanji breathed out in relief. “I’m glad.”

Sonny looked at her a little surprised. Kindness glommed warmly in her eyes as she looked at him and It appeared as if she truly cared. For a rookie she didn’t even know. Sonny wasn’t sure how to react to that.

Then there was a silence, which felt quite heavy and Hanji’s eyes still hung on him as if she was waiting. An itching crept up Sonny’s spine as he thought about what to say, but he was a little overwhelmed. The Survey Corps truly were different than he had heard. It almost felt like family (that went to war together). Maybe that was the reason, why it troubled Sonny so much. It was something he had loved, but didn’t have for such a long time.

Deep within it felt like he had found the place he belonged to and he desperately didn’t want to screw it up. He wanted to be of use, he wanted to be good, he wanted to help, but instead it appeared he made a complete fool out of himself, his own heart standing in his way.

He scraped his bottom lip and hated of much insecurity was emitting from himself today.

“I…,” he began and blinked, wondering what he was about to say. Hanji looked at him, waiting. She didn’t rush him or looked annoyed and Sonny let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what happened to Bean and Sonny.”

He looked back up and honesty shone his bright blue eyes. Now, it was Hanji, who starred at him in wonder. Most people in the Survey Corps, even her subordinates, saw her affection for the Titans as a spleen. Something that was valuable for her researches, but they weren’t quite able to grasp it. They accepted it, because Hanji was the best in her area, but they didn’t _understand_.

In Sonny’s eyes, however, shone honest distress and sadness, almost as if he felt her pain and grief. Hanji’s smile wavered, became smaller, but honest.

“Thank you,” she whispered while she looked at the Titans.

There was another silence, but this one was oddly comfortable as they simply stood next to each other and looked how one light of hope for humanity had been extinguished. It was a throwback, but it was alright. They would find a new one.

“Hanji?”

“Yes?” She looked curiously at him, while Sonny collected all of his courage.

“I know that isn’t quite the way it normally goes and I know that you don’t know me and that I’m still at the beginning of my training…”

“Sonny, Sonny,” she interrupted him with a laugh. “Slow down. Man, I thought I was talking fast without catching a break, but you’re quite the concurrence. Just ask, I won’t bite you.”

Sonny smiled uncertainly and took another deep breath to calm his heart, which beat fast from nervousness.

“When we finished our basic education, I’d like to join your division.”

“Really?” Hanji looked quite surprised, but with a certain curiosity- luckily, a different one than how she looked at her research objects; that one could be quite scary.

“Yes,” Sonny replied and nodded determined.

“Wow. Normally everyone tries to get into Levi’s squad.”

“It’s true that the members of his division are the strongest fighters humanity has to offer and that it is an honour to be a part of it…”

“But?”

“But even they can only defend humanity. The only chance for us to win this war is to gain knowledge about how the Titans work. Otherwise we will never be able to come up with a successful strategy. No matter what an excellent strategist commander Rafael and how good of a fighter Captain Levi is. Without knowledge, every action of ours will only be a desperate act.” A fire of determination burned in Sonny’s eyes. There was no doubt that he believed in what he said.

Hanji looked at him with wide eyes, but soon it vanished and was replaced by a smile.

“I think I’m going to like you, Sonny.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no idea where this is going, if I will continue it or when. It's just an idea which was siting in my head for quite a while and I had a lot of fun of writing it =)
> 
> I'm not even sure if this is going to turn into a romance. 
> 
> Please share your opinions with me. What do you think with this AU? Does it fit?


End file.
